Determination-July 2017

This story is one that I would never wish upon anyone else. Unfortunately, as we came into inpatient we saw all the other families there also getting treatment and going through this.  I can say in my short life I have never seen such intense suffering.  Families walk around the cancer unit trying to be hopeful in every way possible. I will never forget seeing other parents as their child first got admitted and seeing the look in their eyes and the hurt in their hearts for their babies.

Every day I believe my daughter will live.  I believe that her cancer will not come back as there is no point believing anything else or even thinking about it unless it was to return (or so I keep telling myself).  I fight for some control over life internally knowing darn well I don’t have any.  I fight to make something positive out of this journey because I am a fighter.  I am stubborn as hell and if there is one thing that I will not allow happen is for Cancer to get the better of myself or my family.  There is the chance it could take my daughter, but I am determined it will not take myself or my family along with her.  

For hours and days, and weeks, I sat in the hospital with Teagan playing, caring for her, and being there with her. We got our diagnosis at the beginning and then we began the active fight against Teagan’s cancer with chemotherapy.  We received an immense amount of support from our community. My colleagues at work donated an entire year worth of sick leave so that I could be with my daughter and still keep medical coverage for myself. I was offered to be a part of a research study (PRISM) at the hospital which offered basic coping strategies in an effort to help alleviate some of the stress for parents going through this.